Currently making my way through Palahniuk’s back catalogue as part of my prep for assessment 3 of this part of my Master’s.
I don’t know if Master’s should have an apostrophe or not (in a similar fashion to when I got a degree in psychology, but couldn’t spell pyscology until my third year). Having Googled it however, apparently Master’s has an apostrophe because you have ‘mastered’ something. Which, if I am officially a master of creative writing when I get this degree, why haven’t I got an agent or publishing deal yet?
Mostly because I’m a bit relaxed in my approach to these things. Not lazy – I put in as much effort and time as I can healthily spare, whilst still prioritising other things in my life. This balance, is a unique thing to every individual but can be a hard thing to master (ahahahaha).
Some people push themselves too far, fearful of failure or of ‘wasting’ their time. Others procrastinate, let things slide and miss opportunities. Not to say I am brilliant at utilising all my time (I’m currently signed off work with cardiac issues and playing the pS4 everyday instead of writing), but I try to maintain balance. Hence why I’m here, writing an uplifting post about managing your ability and energy, instead of posting a 40 minute rant about my ongoing health issues. Which I wrote and deleted.
I’m a big believer in giving everything you’ve got to try and achieve your goals. But I’m also well versed in failure, rejection and exclusion. All of which hurt and occur far more often than a win. So you need to have a special kind of masochism to keep trying, as well as an understanding of why balance is important. Sure, some people go through life with win after win, so they may find it easier to get up each day and keep trying. But most people have a lot of failures and backslides before they see any success.
And they give up. Which is fine. But then they get bitter and jealous of people with success. And most of the time those people went through just as much failure than they did, if not more, before any success. If I plotted all my rejected stories and my published stories on a line graph, it would not be mostly wins. And maybe that means I’m a bad writer – but my Master’s degree says different (a little tongue in cheek, but mostly just proud I’ll may Master something in my life!)
Essentially, I have no way of knowing if I’ll get a publishing deal, or fund my PHD or pass my black belt exam this year. But those things are on my list of Goals. And I will keep trying, until my health issues prevent me from being able to see or type or think. Because I love doing these things more than I hate failing at them.
LF Mills - author 